Kickboxing

Sometimes when I decide to try something new, I get really scared and it takes me a while to jump into it.  On a whim, my husband Chris bought us Groupons for ilovekickboxing.com and we finally decided that yesterday was going to be the day to try it out.  My husband was completely excited.  He has martial arts training and thought that it was going to be a piece of cake.  I, on the other hand, thought it was going to be grueling and painful.  Out of the two of us, I think I was closer to the truth.  After finally getting my hands and wrists wrapped, I jumped into the warm up exercises.  My left wrist wrap was being such a pain in the ass that I missed the running, so I had to start with the rope ladder that was laid out on the ground.  We had to do different footwork exercises within the sections of the ladder, it started out easy at first (minus trying to coordinate my feet to do what they were supposed to do), but it got harder as I went along.  At one point I had to leave the floor and down as much water as I could get, then I went and sat on the cool tile of the bathroom to try to slow my heart, I was pretty sure it was going to fly out of me.  I went back in the hallway and got some more water.  Chris came to find me and see if I was okay, I told him I wasn't sure I could do this and my eyes started welling up with tears.  He told me I was doing good and that I was already 20 minutes through it.

Luckily, when I went back on the floor, it was time for the actual kickboxing.  The bags were rolled out and the gloves went on, and I finally felt like I was doing something that I could excel at.  Our instructor, Justin, was very helpful and diligent at keeping us on the right track.  Some things were harder than others, but I did find that I prefer to do burpees than arm circles (those are killer, especially with the gloves on).  At one time during the arm circles, Justin was counting us down and my arms got so tired that I put them down for a moment.  Then I hear him say "17, 17, 17" and I realized he was going to keep doing that until I put my arms back up.  I didn't want to punish the whole group just because I was tired, so I put my arms back up and pushed through the pain.

The only thing I wish I had done differently, was to wear tighter pants.  The ones I had on kept falling down slightly during the burpees, even though I had them tied.  But I would go back and punish myself again.  Because even though it is hard to do during the workout, it is an intense feeling of accomplishment after.  I felt good, with my t-shirt sticking to my back, my heart racing, my doubts and fears, I felt good.

The people there were so nice and supportive.  They really want you to get the most out of the experience and the most out of yourself, but they understand that each person has to go at their own pace, and they don't judge you if you need to take a break.  It was also nice to have people who were willing to make sure that we were doing the moves the way we needed to when Justin was helping other people.

Bottom line, I will be going back for the other three classes that we got with the Groupon, and possibly for more classes after that, especially if it works as well for me every time as it did yesterday.

Low Expectations

Is it just me or does it seem to be a lack of expectation in this world?  Or at least in the United States of America.  When I was growing up, I wasn't pushed to make better than my "average" grade.  In fact, I was told that as long as I graduated high school, that would be all my mom expected of me.  I was okay with that answer as an adolescent, but being in my late twenties now, I wish she (or anyone else for that matter) would have pushed me harder, pushed me to strive for something better than what I ended up having.

Like a college degree.  Even though I did get a college degree, it would have been nice to have someone expect that from me from an early age.  Maybe things would have been different, like I wouldn't be so deep with student loans because someone could have guided me on what I did need and what I didn't.  Maybe I would have completed my degree in four years instead of six.  Maybe I would actually be in my field of study instead of working for the same company for the last ten years (I have the certificate to prove it).  But maybe none of that would have happened and I would have been a college drop out.

I know a lot of young people, when going into college straight out of high school don't have any clue as to what they want to do in life.  This wasn't the case for me.  I wanted to be a psych major from the start, and that did happen for me, I graduated with a BA in Psychology from Metropolitan State College of Denver.

Unfortunately, when I was in high school, college seemed unattainable to me.  I wasn't a great student who could pay my way through scholarships.  I also didn't have a rich dead uncle, or even rich parents who were willing to help pay.  I was on my own, if I wanted to go to college, I would have to pay for it (and that I did/am still doing).  Like I mentioned previously, I had no one to let me know what to expect with the costs of college.  So I did what any early 20's kid would do, I took everything that was offered to me, even if my classes cost about half of what I took.  I didn't know how much books would be and any other expenses college would take (what if I needed a computer?).  So now I am sitting here with $60,000+ in student loan debt (my condo didn't even cost me that much!) and the stress of knowing that I have no job in my field (which I should get bookoo bucks in, right?) to pay for my education.

I think my entire point is this: when I have children I am going to expect them to strive for greatness, not just what is average.  There are too many average people in this world, and I'm sad to say even more less than average people.  It's unfortunate, too, because it doesn't have to be that way.  And you can't say that I'm wrong, for proof see People of Walmart.

I feel it is also important not to be stagnant.  It is important to always strive for a better you, whether it be through diet and exercise, or finding a new hobby, spending more time with friends, or experiencing different cultural experiences, one can always strive to be better.  It's never too late to go to college, either.  I didn't get my college degree until ten years after I received my high school diploma, and my aunt didn't go to college until she was in her forties.  Don't expect to get a college degree in four years, don't expect that you can't find ways of paying for a higher education, don't be afraid of failure.  College is such a different experience than high school, I succeeded in areas of college that I failed miserably in high school.

March 21st, 2012

I started this blog a long time ago, but I have never had anything other than fickle thoughts to fill it with.  And who really wants to read fickle thoughts?  Unless you are an avid follower of Kim Kardashian or Paris Hilton, in which case, I'm not sure why you're here.  I'm not saying that they don't have anything worthwhile to say (or that I do), but they choose not to communicate their deep dark secrets with the world, and really, who could blame them.  However, I'm not a celebrity, I don't have more than 100 friends on Facebook (by choice).  I have learned over the years that weeding out my friends from acquaintances makes my life a whole lot easier.  Even weeding out some of the people I thought were friends has been important for my well being.

This brings me to my point.  The whole reason I wanted to write this entry was for this: I have a lot of respect for people who can apologize without making excuses, or making it personal to them.  I recently experienced a situation where I felt the hard betrayal of a friend I have known for years, since we were little kids.  It always happens that way doesn't it?  It's never the one you've known for 6 months that betrays you, it's the one you've known for years.  Or maybe the sting is just greater the longer you know someone.  It leaves a wider gap in your heart.

So this friend did something stupid, and it had to deal with one of my close family members.  I heard excuse after lame excuse from her.  And not once did she offer an explanation, the only thing she offered was her "victimization" (more like villianization, to use my husband's word).  And when I flat out told her that I was expecting an apology for what she did what I got was a lot of "I'm sorry that I'm not perfect" or "I'm sorry for this" or "I'm sorry for that."  She was continuing down a path of idealization.  She made a mistake, plain and simple, and she didn't own up to it.

I hear "them" say "I'm going to be the bigger person," usually that is just as bad as apologizing with excuses, but in this situation, I feel I was the bigger person.  I apologized to her for hurting her (with my words) even though she was the one that made the mistakes.  I didn't make excuses for myself.  I owned my flaws.  I know I'm not perfect, but I'm not going to apologize for it, either.